The continuing influx of Freetannian tourists to MK continued unabated last week with the visit of three Freetannian 'ladies' to the lights of 'downtown' MK on Thursday. Discrete enquiries suggest that this is an attempt by the Freetannian government at soft diplomacy – hoping to cement the special relationship via a direct approach to MK men using a 'Mata Hari' tactic. The 'ladies' themselves (Yvette, Yvonne and Yvailable) denied any such link, claiming they were merely Freetannian tourists whose visit had been prompted by tourist tales of the sophisticated charm of the MK male. Alas it seems their quest was doomed to failure, with most local men overcome by an inexplicable coyness when faced by these exotic Freetannian beauties.
Also on Thursday, Freetannian exports to MK were hit when delivery men were unable to find the purchaser of a large ornate picture frame. The delivery men approached numerous individuals in and around the shopping centre without success.
Tourism was again in the frame on Friday when Vicar George Simper and his wife visited MK for a spot of shopping tourism. The Rev. George met his wife Barbie (previously Barbie Lee, a well known z-movie actress) in the 'States before both became naturalised Freetannian citizens. The visit was a low key affair during which the couple strolled around MK smiling and chatting with local residents before posing for photographs with a local reporter. Questioned about her thigh-high lace-up boots and short skirt, Barbie remarked that these were a concession to her husband, hiding her legs, which he felt were a distraction to vulnerable men, particularly in Milton Keynes.
Again on Friday, the citizens of Milton Keynes found themselves under special protection with the arrival of the SuperEuros! Crime fled the streets as these well-muscled, limber young heroes braved the dark alleys and deserted underpasses of MK. “We're always here” said EuroMan, his broad chested masculinity poised like a shield against the threatening MK night. His colleague, EuroGirl, took a moment to remind citizens that services such as theirs were paid for by European taxes saying “Remember! People like you pay for people like us!” The pair took pains to assure citizens that there was no emergency, asserting that the visit was merely a “routine patrol”. MK youth seemed particularly enamoured of the SuperEuros and were eager to chat and ask questions – there were cheers and shouts of “Legend!” from locals fans as EuroMan and EuroGirl took off en-route to Belgium to quell a comedy outbreak.
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