Daphne loses Stun newspaper backing

On hearing that she had lost the backing of the Stun newspaper, Prime Minister Daphne Frobisher only had this to say:


PM Daphne Frobisher on hearing she has lost the backing of the Stun newspaper

INVICTUS

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

NIGEL'S MILTON KEYNES

Prime Minister Frobisher still has the backing of the MK News so she has very little to worry about.

Nigel Andrews
BBC Freetannian editor

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Who?

Susan Evelyn Williams, exchange student

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Freetannia extends MK influence.

Following on the royal visit of King Richard Frobisher and his wife Daphne, the Sovereign State of Freetannia continues to extend its influence in Milton Keynes.

Over the last few days Freetannia's previously well-heeled Freetannian bankers visited the MK Fringe exhibition in the local shopping arcade. As well as hoping to pick up the odd art bargain they also appealed to the citizens of MK for financial assistance to help our 'Rich Beggars' as they have become known.

Fannie, Charles and Bertie (photo: Legge for FringeMK)

The same event saw a visit from from Freetannia's national athletic team who staged a World Record Attempt at Apathy – unfortunately this event finished early due to lack of interest.

(photos: Legge for FringeMK)

A couple of days later a minor drama ensued when a party of Freetannian ramblers became lost in the depths of the shopping mall. The Freetannian and MK authorities feared the worst but happily, thanks to directions from friendly MK natives the Lost Ramblers were found safe and well, though they continue to deny being lost in the first place.

Caroline, Colin and Susan (photo: Legge for FringeMK)

The creation of artificial sperm has been in the news lately. A little-known fact however is that Freetannia has become the first nation to begin to explore the possibilities with two Freetannian men becoming the first males to become pregnant by a woman. Controversy has surrounded the event however, as both claim the same woman as the 'father'. All three individuals visited MK as a group and were said to be very taken with the local 'Mothercare' branch. They did however feel that the range of male clothing could be improved.

On Monday this week final year Performing Arts students at Milton Keynes College applied en masse to become Freetannian citizens. During a seminar on street theatre hosted by the Comic Character Creations company students, who had previously shown lively enthusiasm, suddenly declared their allegiance to Freetannia and began frantically seeking directions from their colleagues. They finally took part in a mass World Record Attempt at Apathy as a demonstration of their loyalty. Unfortunately, like the official Freetannian event, this too was cancelled for lack of commitment. A spokesperson for Freetannia commented that the country welcomed educated immigrants but hadn't gotten round to doing anything about it yet.

Frobisher denies Starkey snub

Daphne Frobisher: The special relationship has never been stronger

Daphne Frobisher, Prime Minister of Freetannia (also Queen but residents are scarce so everyone simply mucks in) has denied being snubbed by Dr Phyllis Starkey (Labour MP - Milton Keynes South West) after diplomatic sources told the BBC her team had been "frantic" to secure bilateral talks.

PM Frobisher

Mrs Frobisher said she and Dr Starkey "talk all the time" and she insisted the special relationship was "strong and continues to strengthen".

Dr Phyllis Starkey (Labour MP - Milton Keynes South West)

No 10 Frowning Street said they had a wide-ranging chat after an MK Council dinner - understood to have taken place in the council kitchens.

And the MK Council described the claim of Mrs Frobisher being snubbed as "absurd".

'Without foundation'

She was responding to the news that Labour officials rejected repeated requests from Freetannia for a formal meeting - even though the Dr Starkey has held private meetings with the leaders of Japan, China and Russia.

Frowning Street said reports of a snub were "completely without foundation".

Asked whether there were five requests for a bilateral meeting as has been suggested, she said that in the run-up to the trip there would have been numerous calls, but the number was not the issue.

'A mistake'

The council also rejected any suggestion that Mrs Frobisher had been given a lower priority than other leaders.

A spokesman said: "Any stories that suggest trouble in the bilateral relationship between the Milton Keynes and Freetannia are totally absurd.

The row comes after Dr Starkey described the planned relocation to Milton Keynes as a "mistake".

NIGEL'S MILTON KEYNES

I don't mean to suggest Dr Starkey has any negative feelings towards Freetannia, I just don't see why she would see us as all that special.

Nigel Andrews
BBC Freetannian editor

HAVE YOUR SAY

My respect for Dr Starkey grows and grows, whilst Daphne Frobisher is just an embarrassment.

Frannie Haddock, King’s Mews

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Freetannia in the MK News!

Newsflash!

King Richard and Queen Daphne's Royal Visit to Milton Keynes has been reported in the MK News.


King Richard caught in a rare private moment with Queen Daphne.

Freetannia comes to Milton Keynes!

The Mayor of Milton Keynes welcomes King Richard, Queen Daphne and the Royal Correspondent.

The joyful citizens of Milton Keynes yesterday welcomed Col. Richard Frobisher and his wife Mrs Daphne Frobisher, the Freetannian Royal Family, as they arrived on an extended diplomatic visit. And what a tumultuous welcome it was! The royal couple, accompanied by a BBC Freetannia reporter were taken on a whirlwind tour of downtown MK all the while accompanied by a tumultuous and impromtu carnival of dancing, flag-waving citizens. Here was a spectacle entirely reminiscent of the visits of the young Queen Elizabeth to the nations of the British Commonwealth!

Art is important to Freetannians and it is no accident that the royal visit coincided with the launch of the FringeMK festival. The Freetannian government has expressed an interest in Milton Keynes' 'Into Art' initiative and the royal couple were noted to have been particularly taken with a temporary art installation by local artist Mrs Smith.

Col and Mrs Frobisher are keen to establish cultural links with Milton Keynes and a tourism drive has been launched which will see some of Freetannia's rather eccentric citizens visiting the town and its public art over the next few weeks.

Notes on Freetannia:

In modern parlance the Kingdom of Freetannia may be described as a 'virtual micronation' – 'virtual' in the sense that it only exists when and where required, and 'micronation' referring to it's tiny size – though there are certainly plans for expansion.

King 'Dickie', a retired British Army colonel established Freetannia as a reaction to what he saw as a slipping of standards in modern society. Freetannia attempts to correct this by a return to 'traditional ways' though the state also occasionally 'cherry picks' items of modern culture now and then in order to keep up appearances as a modern nation – the odd rock concert is not unheard of.

The Freetannian calendar only has one year, permanently set at 1953 – the year Queen Elizabeth II was crowned.

The Freetannian national dance is related to English Morris Dancing and is known as the 'Curtain Dance'.

A favourite Freetannian delicacy is tea with fondant fancies.

Freetannia relocates to Milton Keynes

Freetannia needs you!

The world’s newest micronation is relocating to Milton Keynes. Why not stop by for a fondant fancy and a bit of cross-border natter.

Freetannia offers modern outdoor life in glorious Technicolor. The grass is greener, so why not come and join us?

His Freetannic Majesty King Richard ‘Dickie’ Frobisher the First has set up a special assisted passage scheme to help you. To sign up come along to the immigration office on Friday 16 or Saturday 17 October.

In the mean time take the opportunity to meet our Freetannia cultural attaches as they visit Milton Keynes over the next few weeks.

Cultural Attaché Schedule

King Richard and Queen Daphne to march in the Celebr8 Parade
Campbell Park to Station Square
Monday 21/09/09 5.00 - 8.30

The Rich Beggars & our Pregnant Man
as special guests of Fringe MK
Middleton Hall
Friday 25/09/09 4.00 - 6.00

The Lost Ramblers & The World Record Attempt at Apathy
also special guests of Fringe MK
Middleton Hall
Saturday 26/09/09 11.00 - 1.00

Living Portraits & The Ugly Tarts
outside the shopping centres of Central MK
Thursday 01/10/09 6.00 - 8.00

Our Tart and Vicar & The SuperEuros
outside the shopping centres of Central MK
Friday 02/10/09 12.00 - 2.00

Life in 3D & The Alien Spotters
outside the shopping centres of Central MK
Tuesday 06/10/09 12.00 - 2.00

The Hairy Flashers & The Mary Whitehouses
outside the shopping centres of Central MK
Friday 09/10/09 12.00 2.00

Sleepwalkers & The Allotmenteers
outside the shopping centres of Central MK
Sunday 11/10/09 1.00 - 3.00

Lost Astronauts
outside the shopping centres of Central MK
Wednesday 14/10/09 12.00 - 2.00

Freetannia Immigration Office opening hours:

Saxon Gate/Midsummer Boulevard underpass
Friday 16/10/09 12.00 - 4.00

Secklow Gate/Silbury Boulevard underpass
Saturday 17/10/09 12.00 - 4.00

Issued by visitFreetannia^TM, the Freetannian Tourist Bureau.

Freetannia is relocating to Milton Keynes as part of IntoArtMK.
Visit: http://www.intoartmk.org/
or text MK Dickie to 60030 for further dates and information.
Texts charged at your supplier’s standard rate.

Or contact entertainers to the King,
Comic Character Creations.

Celebr8 Parade

Freetannia has been asked to march in this year's Celebr8 Parade in Milton Keynes next Monday. We will be flying the Freetannian flag proudly!



King Dickie

Freetannia City of Culture

Freetannia City of Culture list unveiled!

Port Portrait, Flashertown, Life in 3Deen, and 'The Cake Stall' are all in the running for Freetannia's first ever City of Culture, it is announced.

Flasherville

Life in 3Deen

Dickie Scott's Jazz Club

TV chef célèbre Frannie Haddock demanded to chair the judging panel for the competition. She is currently spearheading the cultural attaché visits to Milton Keynes prior to Freetannia's relocation there later this year.

Haddock, who created the long-running TV shows Range Hill and Cookside, said: "To be offered the job of chairing the judging panel is another great privilege for me personally." She added that it was also "another testimony to everyone who made The King's Mews the most successful street in Freetannia to date".

The winner will be announced next Spring and will host a number of important cultural events in 2013.

The Freetannian capital of Frondon and its boroughs were barred from entering the contest.

The locations in the running are: Port Portrait, Dickie Scott's, Flasherfield, Tartown, Ramblerster, Life in 3Deen, 'The Cake Stall' , and the place where the apathetic people

'Secret' entry
The list was announced by Culture Secretary Queen Daphne, who said that Freetannia's success "proves that cultural life most definitely does not begin and end within Milton Keynes".

Another location has put its name forward, but asked not to be named at this stage. Further nominations can be made before the end of the year.

HAVE YOUR SAY
zzzzzzzzzzzz
Phil R, Somnambulister

Filth!
Mary, Blancmaison

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