Freetannia loses Olympic Bid

Brazil will become the first South American country to host the Olympics after the city of Rio de Janeiro was chosen to stage the 2016 Games.

Rio won a majority of the 95 votes at the meeting in Copenhagen, eliminating Madrid in the final round. Freetannia, Milton Keynes and Chicago had already been knocked out.

"The world has recognised that the time has come for Brazil," said President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva.

Freetannia's early exit was a surprise, after bookmakers made them favourites.

King Richard had flown to Denmark on Friday morning to join his wife, Daphne, and make an emotional address to the International Olympic Committee delegates.

But the gesture - the first time a reigning monarch had addressed the IOC in an attempt to win the Games - failed to persuade the voters as Freetannia became the first city to see its dream of hosting the biggest sporting event in the world fall by the wayside.

Speaking to reporters at Fruckingham Palace on his return, King Richard said he wished he had come back with better news, but congratulated Brazil for a "truly historic" win.

"As friends to the Brazilian people, we welcome this extraordinary sign of progress," he said.

The president said he had no doubt that Freetannia's bid had been the strongest possible, could not be prouder of the city, and insisted that he had no regrets about travelling to Denmark.

"I believe it is always a worthwhile endeavour to promote and boost The Sovereign State of Freetannia," he added.

'Heart and soul'

Freetannia received only 1 of the 94 votes available in the first round poll of IOC delegates at the Bella Convention Centre on Friday afternoon. Madrid came out top with 28, followed by Rio on 26.

In Freetannia, which had believed it would be a finalist, several stood in silence in the city centre after it became the first to be eliminated.

"We fought a good fight and I am very proud of the team and the campaign. I have no idea why we went out so early. The IOC members will have to ask themselves that question," said Freetannia bid chief Daphne Frobisher.

Freetannia bid chief Daphne Frobisher in her Olympic glory days.

Daphne loses Stun newspaper backing

On hearing that she had lost the backing of the Stun newspaper, Prime Minister Daphne Frobisher only had this to say:


PM Daphne Frobisher on hearing she has lost the backing of the Stun newspaper

INVICTUS

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

NIGEL'S MILTON KEYNES

Prime Minister Frobisher still has the backing of the MK News so she has very little to worry about.

Nigel Andrews
BBC Freetannian editor

HAVE YOUR SAY

Who?

Susan Evelyn Williams, exchange student

Send us your comments

Freetannia extends MK influence.

Following on the royal visit of King Richard Frobisher and his wife Daphne, the Sovereign State of Freetannia continues to extend its influence in Milton Keynes.

Over the last few days Freetannia's previously well-heeled Freetannian bankers visited the MK Fringe exhibition in the local shopping arcade. As well as hoping to pick up the odd art bargain they also appealed to the citizens of MK for financial assistance to help our 'Rich Beggars' as they have become known.

Fannie, Charles and Bertie (photo: Legge for FringeMK)

The same event saw a visit from from Freetannia's national athletic team who staged a World Record Attempt at Apathy – unfortunately this event finished early due to lack of interest.

(photos: Legge for FringeMK)

A couple of days later a minor drama ensued when a party of Freetannian ramblers became lost in the depths of the shopping mall. The Freetannian and MK authorities feared the worst but happily, thanks to directions from friendly MK natives the Lost Ramblers were found safe and well, though they continue to deny being lost in the first place.

Caroline, Colin and Susan (photo: Legge for FringeMK)

The creation of artificial sperm has been in the news lately. A little-known fact however is that Freetannia has become the first nation to begin to explore the possibilities with two Freetannian men becoming the first males to become pregnant by a woman. Controversy has surrounded the event however, as both claim the same woman as the 'father'. All three individuals visited MK as a group and were said to be very taken with the local 'Mothercare' branch. They did however feel that the range of male clothing could be improved.

On Monday this week final year Performing Arts students at Milton Keynes College applied en masse to become Freetannian citizens. During a seminar on street theatre hosted by the Comic Character Creations company students, who had previously shown lively enthusiasm, suddenly declared their allegiance to Freetannia and began frantically seeking directions from their colleagues. They finally took part in a mass World Record Attempt at Apathy as a demonstration of their loyalty. Unfortunately, like the official Freetannian event, this too was cancelled for lack of commitment. A spokesperson for Freetannia commented that the country welcomed educated immigrants but hadn't gotten round to doing anything about it yet.

Frobisher denies Starkey snub

Daphne Frobisher: The special relationship has never been stronger

Daphne Frobisher, Prime Minister of Freetannia (also Queen but residents are scarce so everyone simply mucks in) has denied being snubbed by Dr Phyllis Starkey (Labour MP - Milton Keynes South West) after diplomatic sources told the BBC her team had been "frantic" to secure bilateral talks.

PM Frobisher

Mrs Frobisher said she and Dr Starkey "talk all the time" and she insisted the special relationship was "strong and continues to strengthen".

Dr Phyllis Starkey (Labour MP - Milton Keynes South West)

No 10 Frowning Street said they had a wide-ranging chat after an MK Council dinner - understood to have taken place in the council kitchens.

And the MK Council described the claim of Mrs Frobisher being snubbed as "absurd".

'Without foundation'

She was responding to the news that Labour officials rejected repeated requests from Freetannia for a formal meeting - even though the Dr Starkey has held private meetings with the leaders of Japan, China and Russia.

Frowning Street said reports of a snub were "completely without foundation".

Asked whether there were five requests for a bilateral meeting as has been suggested, she said that in the run-up to the trip there would have been numerous calls, but the number was not the issue.

'A mistake'

The council also rejected any suggestion that Mrs Frobisher had been given a lower priority than other leaders.

A spokesman said: "Any stories that suggest trouble in the bilateral relationship between the Milton Keynes and Freetannia are totally absurd.

The row comes after Dr Starkey described the planned relocation to Milton Keynes as a "mistake".

NIGEL'S MILTON KEYNES

I don't mean to suggest Dr Starkey has any negative feelings towards Freetannia, I just don't see why she would see us as all that special.

Nigel Andrews
BBC Freetannian editor

HAVE YOUR SAY

My respect for Dr Starkey grows and grows, whilst Daphne Frobisher is just an embarrassment.

Frannie Haddock, King’s Mews

Send us your comments

Freetannia in the MK News!

Newsflash!

King Richard and Queen Daphne's Royal Visit to Milton Keynes has been reported in the MK News.


King Richard caught in a rare private moment with Queen Daphne.

Freetannia comes to Milton Keynes!

The Mayor of Milton Keynes welcomes King Richard, Queen Daphne and the Royal Correspondent.

The joyful citizens of Milton Keynes yesterday welcomed Col. Richard Frobisher and his wife Mrs Daphne Frobisher, the Freetannian Royal Family, as they arrived on an extended diplomatic visit. And what a tumultuous welcome it was! The royal couple, accompanied by a BBC Freetannia reporter were taken on a whirlwind tour of downtown MK all the while accompanied by a tumultuous and impromtu carnival of dancing, flag-waving citizens. Here was a spectacle entirely reminiscent of the visits of the young Queen Elizabeth to the nations of the British Commonwealth!

Art is important to Freetannians and it is no accident that the royal visit coincided with the launch of the FringeMK festival. The Freetannian government has expressed an interest in Milton Keynes' 'Into Art' initiative and the royal couple were noted to have been particularly taken with a temporary art installation by local artist Mrs Smith.

Col and Mrs Frobisher are keen to establish cultural links with Milton Keynes and a tourism drive has been launched which will see some of Freetannia's rather eccentric citizens visiting the town and its public art over the next few weeks.

Notes on Freetannia:

In modern parlance the Kingdom of Freetannia may be described as a 'virtual micronation' – 'virtual' in the sense that it only exists when and where required, and 'micronation' referring to it's tiny size – though there are certainly plans for expansion.

King 'Dickie', a retired British Army colonel established Freetannia as a reaction to what he saw as a slipping of standards in modern society. Freetannia attempts to correct this by a return to 'traditional ways' though the state also occasionally 'cherry picks' items of modern culture now and then in order to keep up appearances as a modern nation – the odd rock concert is not unheard of.

The Freetannian calendar only has one year, permanently set at 1953 – the year Queen Elizabeth II was crowned.

The Freetannian national dance is related to English Morris Dancing and is known as the 'Curtain Dance'.

A favourite Freetannian delicacy is tea with fondant fancies.

Freetannia relocates to Milton Keynes

Freetannia needs you!

The world’s newest micronation is relocating to Milton Keynes. Why not stop by for a fondant fancy and a bit of cross-border natter.

Freetannia offers modern outdoor life in glorious Technicolor. The grass is greener, so why not come and join us?

His Freetannic Majesty King Richard ‘Dickie’ Frobisher the First has set up a special assisted passage scheme to help you. To sign up come along to the immigration office on Friday 16 or Saturday 17 October.

In the mean time take the opportunity to meet our Freetannia cultural attaches as they visit Milton Keynes over the next few weeks.

Cultural Attaché Schedule

King Richard and Queen Daphne to march in the Celebr8 Parade
Campbell Park to Station Square
Monday 21/09/09 5.00 - 8.30

The Rich Beggars & our Pregnant Man
as special guests of Fringe MK
Middleton Hall
Friday 25/09/09 4.00 - 6.00

The Lost Ramblers & The World Record Attempt at Apathy
also special guests of Fringe MK
Middleton Hall
Saturday 26/09/09 11.00 - 1.00

Living Portraits & The Ugly Tarts
outside the shopping centres of Central MK
Thursday 01/10/09 6.00 - 8.00

Our Tart and Vicar & The SuperEuros
outside the shopping centres of Central MK
Friday 02/10/09 12.00 - 2.00

Life in 3D & The Alien Spotters
outside the shopping centres of Central MK
Tuesday 06/10/09 12.00 - 2.00

The Hairy Flashers & The Mary Whitehouses
outside the shopping centres of Central MK
Friday 09/10/09 12.00 2.00

Sleepwalkers & The Allotmenteers
outside the shopping centres of Central MK
Sunday 11/10/09 1.00 - 3.00

Lost Astronauts
outside the shopping centres of Central MK
Wednesday 14/10/09 12.00 - 2.00

Freetannia Immigration Office opening hours:

Saxon Gate/Midsummer Boulevard underpass
Friday 16/10/09 12.00 - 4.00

Secklow Gate/Silbury Boulevard underpass
Saturday 17/10/09 12.00 - 4.00

Issued by visitFreetannia^TM, the Freetannian Tourist Bureau.

Freetannia is relocating to Milton Keynes as part of IntoArtMK.
Visit: http://www.intoartmk.org/
or text MK Dickie to 60030 for further dates and information.
Texts charged at your supplier’s standard rate.

Or contact entertainers to the King,
Comic Character Creations.